First Time Mother

I wonder if EVERY mother does at least one thing to her first born child to show the world that she is indeed a novice in the art of motherhood. I've been very proud of myself. My son will be 2 in October. I've managed to not drown him in the tub. (Ever try to give a newborn a bath? It's like trying to eat rice with one chopstick.) I've managed to calm him when he was frantic, change 4 million poop diapers, teach him where his elbow is and many other motherly tasks-all without calling major attention to the fact that I'VE NEVER DONE ANY OF THIS BEFORE!!!!! Yesterday, however, I showed the world my "first time mother" status with a flare.

Donnie had eaten lunch and I thought I'd give him a jello cup for a snack. I've never bought a jello cup (so I've never eaten one) but a friend had given me a whole pack. Don's been doing really well eating with a spoon so I gave him a jello cup and spoon, watched him for a few minutes to make sure he had the hang of it then I went into the next room. I had a lot of paper work to do so I was on my computer for a good 20 minutes. I could hear Don talking to himself in the next room. He's almost 2 now and honestly, who can choke on jello?? He was content and I was busy so I didn't go back in until he started to get a bit fussy.

I walked around the corner and the most amazing sight I'd ever seen was before me. Don was in his high chair and from his eyes down to his chest was COVERED in the fire engine red jello. He looked like the code red mountain dew version of the "Hulk" His little eyes had circles of red around them. There wasn't a millimeter of skin between his eyes and chest, where his shirt caught the rest of the jello wrath, that was the most brilliant hue of red I've ever seen on human skin. His hands and arms were bright red as well. I called Seth and we had a good laugh. We took pictures and video. Then I went to clean him off. This is where it got interesting. Did you know that jello will dye your skin?? I scrubbed and scrubbed. He was still red. I put him in the bathtub. The water and my brand new bathtub were both pink, and Donnie was still red. I had turned my beautiful little boy into a real life Bob the tomato!!

I had to run some errands and the 2 hour bath wasn't helping so I dressed my little tomato and off to the store we went. People were stopping and saying "Aww...did he get sun burned?" What was I supposed to say, "Oh yes, I'm a first time mother so I let him play in the sun for hours with no sun screen. When we leave here we're going to the doc so they can treat his 2nd degree burns." The truth wasn't a good option either. "No, he's not burnt. I let him have a jello bath. I didn't like that he was born white, I wanted a red boy." It was the fastest grocery trip I've ever made...

Today is the day after our jello incident. He's still a bit pink around the edges but I think another 24 hours in the tub and he should be back to normal. You know, everything else in this world comes with instruction manuals. Why don't kids???