Friday, April 30, 2010

Bank Rub

Two years ago I worked in home health care. I took care of several elderly people and some of my duties involved driving them on errands. I had one lady who was a "favorite" of mine, I'll call her Mary. She was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and she could recall dates from 1910 but couldn't remember how to hold a tooth brush.

One bitterly cold January morning Mary wanted to go to the bank. The wind was blowing like nobody else's business and it was very bad white-out conditions. There was snow drifting and blowing everywhere! Now, I'm a southern girl. I am not used to snow and wind and I'm not particularly fond of all the white goo we call snow, but duty called. So, Mary and I bundled up and out the door we went. We made it to the bank in once piece (for which I was very proud of) and we decided to go through the drive through. Mary had her deposit all ready so I pulled up to the little "sucker" station. (You know, the thing that sucks up the little plastic cylinder thingy that you put your deposit slip into.) I put the car into park, rolled down my window, and grabbed the little cylinder thingy. The two seconds my little hand was out the window must've frozen my fingers because before I could get the thingy into the car I dropped it!

When I had pulled up to the bank window there wasn't a car in sight. Now I have like 50 of them behind me and now the other lane has cars in it too! I get out of the car, shut the door and look down expecting to see the cylinder thingy. It's not there. Now, because I'm from the south I REALLY bundle up. I have on tights, long johns, sweat pants, 3 skirts, 4 jackets, 2 get my drift. To top it all off, I'm several months pregnant. I can't really bend over that easy. I walk around my car hoping the stupid little cylinder thingy has rolled all the way through. It didn't. So little, round me gets down on all fours to look under my car. There it is. It's wedged between the concrete and the bottom of my car. It was wedged in such a way that if I drove forward I'd crush the dumb thing. I had to walk back around to the driver's side of car and pretending not to see the ladies in the bank gathering in the window, and the loooooong line of cars waiting, I get down on my belly in 10 inches of snow and worm my frosty-the-snowman-sized body under my car to grab the most hateful piece of plastic I've ever seen. I wrap my numb fingers around it and then try to wiggle back out. The wind is blowing my skirt up into my face and I'm about stuck under my car! All I could think was "Oh my gosh, they're gonna have to call a TOW truck to get me outta here!" Fate finally decided to let me have some shred of decency left and I managed get out from under the car.

When I got myself upright I looked up into the window of the bank drive thru and all the ladies were laughing so hard. I can't blame them...I would've laughed too, and poor Mary looked a deer in the headlights. She had no idea why I was making snow angels in the bank drive way. No one in the loooooooong line of cars looked me in the eye either. I drug my wounded ego back into my car, carefully handed the mean plastic cylinder thingy to Mary. We made her deposit and I got out of there as fast as I could.

The next week when I pulled into the bank the lady said one thing to me. "Careful, don't drop it."
Yeah, that's so nice. Just rub it in. *laugh

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Donnie's First Bar

This spring has been amazing in Northern Michigan. It came SO early. Our snow has been gone since the middle of March! Last year wasn't so beautiful. It was more normal for up here. The weekend before our anniversary (which is May 10th) Seth and I decided to go have a picnic in the woods. The snow had been gone about 2 weeks or so and it was a beautiful day in the upper 50's, lower 60's.

About our car at the time. Seth bought it for thirty dollars. That's not a typo. Yes, you can buy cars for $30. Grant it, they will leave huge plumes of smoke behind you as you go. That little car got great gas milage but oil milage was a little steep. Two quarts every gas fill-up. Ah...the good old days...


Seth and I have a favorite spot we love to hike in. It way far away from everything and has a beautiful stream. It's very wild and untamed. It's a nature reserve that Seth and I found just after we were married. It's about 45 minutes from Charlevoix. The last 3 miles to get into the reserve are accessible only by a 2-track.

So, Seth, Donnie and I set out to go have a family picnic. When we got to the beginning of the 2 track it looked pretty smooth. It didn't look like the snow from all winter had been too bad. So, we started down the windy path in our little smokey car. (Poor trees were choking...haha) The whole 2 track is down hill as you go into the reserve and the farther in you get the more narrow the road and the higher the ridges on either side of your car get. It got bumpier and bumpier. Our heads were slamming into the ceiling. Suddenly we rounded a sharp curve and there was nothing but a bank of snow and ice. We couldn't stop. We were going downhill and there's NO WAY to turn around. We plowed into the bank of snow and ice and somehow kept on going. For another quarter of a mile we "slippy slided" downhill, on the ice, surrounded by large earth banks on either side of our car. Donnie was a sweet baby and was very quiet. I was screaming bloody murder, silently in my heart of course. Seth was chalk white and hanging onto the steering wheel for dear life. Like the magic bus we finally went airborne and landed in the middle of a grassy field. The very one we had intended to go picnic in.

Seth and I got out of the car on wobbly legs and looked up the path we had just come. There were deep ruts where the snow had melted and trickled downhill. Every inch of that hill was covered in ice. There was NO WAY we were getting back up it in ol' smokey. Well, since we made it to where we had wanted to go in the first place we might as well enjoy our picnic. Donnie was peacefully sleeping so we left him in the car, spread our blanket out and went to town. It was a delicious meal but we had to eat it fast. We had a 3 mile hike in front of us.

After our picnic we got Donnie out of the car. Now he was only 5 months old so he was still in the really little car seat. (I call them Pumpkin Seats. So if I say Pumpkin Seat you'll know what I'm talking about) I got the diaper bag, Seth got Donnie in the pumpkin seat and we started climbing up the cold, slippery, WET hill. Going DOWN that hill in a car had been easy. It was a hike straight UP the entire way. Seth and I took turns carrying Don in his pumpkin seat and finally we ended up with Seth holding one side and me holding the other. That kid weighed a ton! We walked and walked and walked and walked. I thought we'd never get out of that place. We couldn't call anyone either because of COURSE there was no cell service. After about an hour of walking we got to the main highway. There was a gas station just a little down the road. We walked to it and IT WAS CLOSED! At least we had cell service by this time so we called our good friend Jonathan Barker. He said he'd come get us as soon as he could. We sat outside that abandoned gas station for an hour. It started to get dark and really chilly. There's no where to go. We are miles from the nearest town. About .5 miles down the road I can see some lights twinkling. I asked Seth was it another gas station? He said "sure! Something like that." I suggested we walk to it. Don was well bundled but it was getting too cold for me (who had no jacket) and I really didn't like the baby out in damp, cold, night air.

We started our trek to the next gas station. There wasn't even a HOUSE to stop at. We were in the middle of no where! Seth and I were toting Don between us and a nice lady stopped and gave us a lift the rest of the way to the gas station where we would wait on JB. We get out of her van and walk into a dimly lit, smokey...WAIT A SEC! Seth took me to one of these on our honey moon! (Read Haywire Honeymoon...) I knew what this was! We were in a bar!!!!!!!!!! It was a very old, dingy place and there were only 3-4 people there. They were very nice and offered us some soda. I was so thirsty but I wasn't ABOUT to drink ANYthing in there. So, we sat in the bar for about 30 minutes. All of a sudden JB pulls up. His little truck wouldn't have fit all of us so he had brought the church van. We're sitting in this bar and JB pulls up right in front of the building. You can see plain as day BIBLE BAPTIST CHURCH written across the van. We got the strangest looks as we walked out that door. And Donnie had been to his first (and hopefully ONLY) bar.

Moral of the story. Picnic in the middle of town on concrete.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Dog Tales

*NOTE! All names and places have been changed for privacy reasons but this is a TRUE story

Recently a girl was BEGGING her husband for a dog. For months the husband refused her. Finally one day he gave her guidelines. It can't shed, it can't bark, it must be housebroken, it must be small, AND it must be free. (Basically he wanted a gerbil.) So, this wife set out on her quest. She looked and looked and looked and looked....and looked. One golden day she found it! There was an ad so she went to check out this dog. One small problem. The ad didn't have a picture to go with it. Another small problem. This girl is never ever able to say "no." It's not in her vocabulary.

So, off into the blue yonder the girl rides to meet her perfect 4-legged friend. She gets to the house and meets the dog. It's so ugly it looks like an alien. It weighs about 4 lbs so it is small CHECK! It has these huge buggy eyes. Well, cute wasn't on the list was it? The dog is a cross breed so for the most part it looks like a little bat dog (without wings of course) but it also had some wire hair wini dog in it. So growing off of the little bat-face is a goatee that any Pharaoh would be jealous of but not only does it have a goatee it has a weird line of hair growing down his neck. It looked like a mohawk that belonged to a chemo patient. All the other requirements were met though! It was free, it was small, it didn't shed (unless you count a single mohawk hair every once in a while shedding) it didn't bark, it was supposed to be house broken and it was FREE. (Seriously, I think they would've paid that girl to take that dog. If it was a dog. She is now convinced it was a cross between a bat and a demon.)

The girl loaded the tiny, housebroken, non-barking, non-shedding, FREE, ugly, dog into her car and drove home. She was so ashamed of her newly acquired friend she left it in the car for about 30 min before she had the nerve to tell her husband she got it. They went out to the car together...and there it sat. Staring at them with it's buggy eyes bulging. It was so ugly that the gruff, dog hating husband took pity! He kinda liked the dog. So, into the house we went. That dog wouldn't come near the girl. He didn't like her at all. He liked the husband well enough and was gracious enough to allow the husband to pick it up. The girl asked the husband to take the bat-dog outside for a walk. She warned the husband not to let the doggie off the leash. Thirty minutes later the girl went looking for her husband. Hm, that's weird. No husband. Maybe little bat-dog finally sprouted his wings and carried the husband off? The girl went and got her telescope to search the skies. (haha, jk) Soon the husband burst into the doors. He was flushed and panting. Nope, guess the dog was still on 4 legs. The husband hadn't listened to the wife. He let the dog off and within seconds the little dog from Hades slipped through the fence. Poor husband had to look for that dog for hours. He never found it.

There is a new item on the gerbil/dog list. Come when called. And no breeds mixed with bat.
*NOTE. The previous owner was notified and they were able to find the little devil dog. The doggie is safe in sound in his old home.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Men know best

Today Seth and I went hiking. It was a beautiful day. It was in the 70's with a brisk, warm breeze blowing from the south. We followed a small stream for about 45 minutes. After about 20 minutes of hiking I gave up and just walked in the water. Seth was appalled that I was getting wet. He told me numerous times to get out of that cold stream! I told him I'd rather get my feet wet than ALL of me wet. Seth said that was silly, he wouldn't get wet. If you've ever followed a stream you know that you have to criss cross over it many times. Some sides are clear for a few feet and then there's too many fallen logs or brambles so you have to cross to the other side which is usually a bit clearer. Seth jumped the stream, he walked high above the stream on a ridge to avoid the fallen logs, he swung from vines and I plodded through the stream.

Finally, we HAD to cross. The side of the stream we were on was a wall straight up and it disappeared into the stream at the base. There weren't any good logs to cross on. Seth decided to cross by jumping. I was already on the other side cause I just walked thru. Seth backed up as much as possible and started to run towards the babbling brook. He uttered a cry that all southern boys in the Civil War would've been proud of. Seth's feet left the air, and gravity gave a yank. Seth flew three or four feet and I could see the look on his face as he realized he wasn't going to make the opposite bank. He landed in the middle of that stream. I was about 20 feet from him. I couldn't move out of the way fast enough. A tidal wave of mud and water hit me dead on. As soon as I cleared the dripping hair out of my eyes I looked, and there was my poor, pitiful husband standing knee deep in the stream. Water was dripping from his hair, eyelashes and ears. His entire body was soaked. We were laughing so hard we couldn't catch our breath. So much for not getting his FEET wet. (Glad you knew what was best, Honey. :)

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Bitten by Love

I LOVE Andes mints! They are the best mints in the world. After lunch today I gave one to Seth and then I ate one. About five minutes after we had finished our mints Seth was relaxing in his easy chair. I thought I'd sit with him a minute and when I smelled his minty breath I wanted a kiss. *heart*

It was a really good kiss...everything in the world was drowned out. (You know how that goes)

Right in the middle of it Seth hollered! I jumped 6 miles and Seth was staring in shock at Donnie who was standing at the arm of the chair. "He bit me!" I looked down at Seth's arms and there were little teeth marks turning purple.

I started to laugh! Donnie had seen us kissing and thought he'd join in!! Next time I'll put him down for a nap first.

Friday, April 9, 2010


My 7 year old brother is forever breaking things. My parents have tried every trick in the book to cure him of his tragic habit but to no avail. Finally Mom and Dad had the bright idea of MONEY! (Money talks in every language to every age...)

Every time Jo breaks something he has to empty his piggy bank into dad's piggy bank. I had forgotten this new rule until one day when I got home and saw that Jo was moping around the house. I asked why was he so sad?

He said:

"I had to DOWNLOAD all of my change into dad's piggy bank again today."

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Correction of Haywire Honeymoon

Just for public record Seth HAD been to to Ellis Island. He'd never been to DC. I forgot that he's been to one but not the other. =D

Burn me up

My husband is a very smart guy. He loves computers and anything geeky. He tends to use large words that I think SOMEtimes he makes up just for fun. The other day he kept putting his feet on my coffee table. His feet are lethal weapons that the Chinese would pay a high price to harness. I can smells his boots from across the house. It's bad. I didn't want his smelly, dirty feet on my table. He kept doing it just to irk me. Does anyone else's husband do that? Like to irk you for fun?? Finally I looked at Seth and in my most deadly tone said (trying to use language he could understand...he loves big words)

"Seth, you INCINERATE me!"

He started laughing so hard and I couldn't understand why. When he finally caught a breath he said,

"Babe, I think you meant INFURIATE not INCINERATE..."

Monday, April 5, 2010

Haywire Honeymoon 2

The same night as our unforgettable root beer float Seth and I walked down old 66, through the town we were staying in. If you've ever seen the movie "Cars" that is exactly what it was like. It was a neat experience.

The next morning we got up and kept trucking north. I don't know if any of you have ever been to New Mexico but it is one of the prettiest of the 50 states. The rock formations are beautiful and they're different colors! Not the normal old gray rocks but they're light pink and white and a clayish orange. It's an awesome state to drive through. Don't stop to use the restroom though!!! Seth had to stop, I was smart and waited in the car. When he came back out he was a funny shade of gray and green. He said that people didn't bother to even use the toilet...there were piles in the bathroom. He laid off the soda for the rest of the way through NM.

We finally got to our cabin in the Rocky Mountains of Colorado. It was about midnight and so black you couldn't see your hand in front of your face. Seth, my brave husband got out and walked around looking for the key to the cabin. It was supposed to be in a box under a rock, behind a tree, next to a mushroom that the fairies put there. Seth had a tiny flash light and went on his magical hunt. He finally found the key and we pulled our tired bodies into the house. It was an amazing cabin. It was 1600 square feet, fully furnished and well decorated. It wasn't rustic at all, it was fantastically amazing and so beautiful. It had a wood floor, stone fire place, a fully stocked kitchen, and the biggest shower I'd ever seen. The shower had individual shower heads with their own temp controls! I wanted to take the shower home with me. After we explored the house we went to bed. When we got up the next morning I looked out the huge glass windows and I thought I was looking at a panoramic picture. One hundred feet from the front porch was the Rio Grande River and it was bubbling at the base of a mountain peak that was gold and pink in the morning sun. It was breath taking. What was even more breath taking was the 400,000 signs posted everywhere. Please do not leave trash out, the bears will get into it. Beware of Bears. Bear Crossing. Do not pet baby Bears! My husband had been crawling around in the dark with 20 bears watching...I just know it. Thank goodness he smelled like a bear himself from traveling or they might have thought he was a tasty morsel! There were also signs for wolves and moose, and Seth wanted to go hiking! Not in this life time. I looked out my picture window, drank hot chocolate and left the wildlife in peace. =D

We stayed in that cabin a week. For all my teasing, I really had an amazing honeymoon. I got do so many things and I had fun through ALL of it, even the weird parts. We're about to get into the REALLY weird part so hang on...

The next part of our honeymoon was a surprise. Seth wouldn't tell me anything except we were going to Chicago. We drove ALL night to get there. I say we loosely. Seth kept me awake with his snoring. When we got to Chicago we met up with our friend Matt (from the beginning of the story.) He was a resident in the city of Chicago. We left our vehicle at his place and put our luggage in his truck and we started driving. I had no idea where we were going or WHY we were driving with Matt. I was so tired from my sleepless night that I fell asleep and woke up at Chicago O'Hare. Seth had bought us tickets to NY! We settled on the plane and in no time had landed in the city that never sleeps. We got our rental car and we drove to Ellis Island parking. We viewed the statue of Liberty and other Ellis Island attractions. I'd been there before but Seth hadn't. It was a FUN thing to do on your honeymoon! We finished touring about 3 and decided to drive down to Washington. I can remember what day this was because we planned on going to church in DC. We used our GPS to get us into the main flow of traffic. Only problem was, it didn't FLOW for very long. There is something wrong with New Yorkers. The have the impression that if you blow your horn a gridlocked traffic pattern will suddenly disappear. We got stuck in traffic. We watched the SAME light change 180 times. It was unreal. And the WHOLE time we sat there every horn, except ours, was blaring! Seth and I were so tired we fell asleep! BOTH of us! When the honking got more frantic (if that's possible) we'd crack an eye and move up the inch that had been created. Or we'd TRY to move up that inch but usually some crazy taxi driver had his leg stuck out of his door trying to get into that spot. They are the wildest drivers I've ever seen, and I've been a LOT of places. When we'd been at that light for 3 hours I was SO hungry and thirsty. There were vendors on the side walks but I just KNEW if I got out that the traffic would start to actually for REAL move. I couldn't handle it anymore. Three hours in the sun and I had to have something to drink. So, I got out of the car and walked over to a vendor. Seth wanted 2 hot dogs so I ordered those the way he wanted them. The guy was putting on the mustard when TRAFFIC STARTED TO MOVE! I grabbed Seth's dogs, and one drink, threw a $20 at the vendor and took of running like a mad woman. I was hollering WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT and Seth has his head out the window hollering, you can make it! Faster! Just a little more! Mustard is slapping me in the face and horns are screaming. I made a flying leap and landed next to the car. I threw Seth the soda and yanked open the door and flung myself into the seat. And traffic stopped. I think that hot dog vendor did have the ONE magic horn in all of NY. He must've blown it so I wouldn't have time to get my change. And then he made the traffic stop just has I made my very unlady-like plunge into the car, just for a laugh. I don't like hot dog vendors.

We finally made it to DC about midnight (should've been there about 5) We fell into bed and didn't wake up until 10 the next morning (thursday). I love Washington. It is an amazing city. I've been there 5 times but it never gets old. Seth and I went to many of the museums and walked down Independence Ave. It was so much fun!
We stayed the night again and spent most of Friday in even more museums. On Thursday we had parked 2 miles out of DC and had to walk in. Friday Seth decided he'd park in a parking garage. So, we did and we had a wonderful day, except for lunch. I LOVE Mexican food and there aren't any Mexican places where we live in MI. So, Seth decided to treat me to authentic Mexican food. He typed what we wanted into the GPS and followed the directions. We pull up to our destination...the doors were swinging plywood and I think I saw a chicken or two hopping around. I was scared but didn't want to complain. We walked in and our eyes had a hard time adjusting to the dim lighting. When they finally started to focus I saw a LONG counter with stools all up against it, and the REALLY weird thing was the floor was carpet except on the left there was a huge wooden area with a shiny ball over it. The lady at the counter asked us in broken English if we'd like a drink. Seth asked if they were serving lunch. "Lunch?" She said "We don't serve lunch. This is a bar. The restaurant is next door." Seth took me to my first bar. (He's taken me to another one since...but that's a whole different but just as crazy story) The restaurant was scary. The waitress didn't speak any English. For drinks I went up the fountain and pointed to the one I wanted. They didn't offer soda. It looked like pink lemonade. It wasn't. It was a weird grapefruit thing. Very nasty. I was hoping the food would be better. I tried to order off the Spanish menu. Burrito isn't hard to read. I didn't know what the sauce was. I don't think they did either. I think the cook borrowed some tar from somewhere and mixed in the chili powder and called it good. It was thick and black and oh so very gross. Seth and I both tried to eat it. He didn't want to offend me and my Mexican tastes. I didn't want to offend him because he had just spent $30 on tar. Finally I looked at him and said "Seth, I can't eat it." He said, "Oh thank the Lord, me either! Let's go!" We went to Burger King. Good old burger, fry and shake.

To end the day we went to the IMAX theater. The show ended at 9PM and we went to get find our car. We were going to drive back to NY, spend the night and then fly out the next morning to Chicago. Small problem. We couldn't find our car. We looked for an hour. We had the NAME of our parking garage but come to find out it was like saying, Hey, do you know where Burger King is? There were a million parking garages with that name around DC. We asked locals, we even asked some foot patrol cops. They didn't know, but they did warn us to not take the next street. There were hookers there. Seth put his arm around me and said, "That's okay, she'll protect me." The cop said, "She'd better, because they're not female..."
It was about 11pm and we saw a cop in a car. We walked up to him and Seth a bright idea. When we walked out of the garage Seth had taken a picture of the Capitol. Our camera was dying but with it's last breath it showed the cop the angle we had parked at. Brave little camera. GLORY TO GOD the cop recognized it! He told us how to get there. We were SO excited and TIRED! We'd had nothing to eat since lunch that day and nothing to drink either. We left the very helpful cop and it was a 10 minute walk to our car. We found the garage! But, it was locked. Did you know parking garages have closing times? Yeah, me either. They had closed at 7pm. Our RENTAL car (and keys, they took our keys for whatever reason) and all our luggage was in that car. Seth and I didn't know what to do. The parking garage was attached to a tall building with lots of windows. Probably an office building we were thinking. We went and banged on the doors. Finally we called the cops. A cop came out and she looked at the building with us. She helped us bang on the door some more. Finally a security guard from the next building walked over. He was a tall black man and very very nice. His news wasn't so nice though. The garage we had parked in was federal building's garage. They let the public use it but it follows the federal's schedule. Not too bad, it'll open for work the next morning, right? Wrong. It was memorial day weekend. They wouldn't open until Tuesday. Our rental car was due at 10 the next morning. Our flight left at 10:30 AM! Tuesday was FOUR DAYS away! The cop left and the security guard took us to the grass patch in front of their building. They were going to make some phone calls for us. I sat down in the grass. It felt so good. It was 12 AM by now and I was so tired and hungry and thirsty. The second security guard stuck her head out of the door and said "I wouldn't sit in that grass if I wuz you. There be some big rats in there." I started laughing, and then crying then laughing again. Could it get worse? The security guards finally took pity and let us into their building. They had a drink machine. I think we drank every can left in it. Those security guards were so kind and did everything they could but they couldn't get hold of anyone. Seth and I went back outside and we were staring at the building when we saw a well dressed young man coming up to the door of the building that was holding our car prisoner. HE WORKED THERE! We told him our trouble and he said he could get us into the garage no problem! Our prayers were answered. (It's now 1AM) This guy was REALLY nice but you could tell he was um...well, he like men. Anyway, he took us through the federal building and down into the garage. His HUMMER was parked there. We saw our lonely little car but the KEYS weren't with it. There was a little office space in the garage. The keys must be in there. Seth and this nice guy picked the lock! We got into the office and no keys. We did find a number to some guy who might be able to help us. We called it and I don't think he was happy to be bothered that time of the morning. He said call again around 8AM. Nice hummer guy offered to give us a ride to our hotel. We told him where we were staying. He said, "Oh, you can't stay there, that's ghetto! (it wasn't) He took us down town DC. The hotels there are really high price. Believe it or not where we'd been staying for $60 a night was MUCH nicer than where he took us. It was in a great neighborhood but it cost $400 for that night. And they didn't even have toothbrushes! We thanked Mr. Hummer man and fell asleep in our clothes.

The next morning (Saturday) we called and rescheduled our flight for later that day. We walked back to the parking garage and called Mr. Parking Garage man. He said he'd come down with our keys in an hour. Three hours later he come SLOWLY walking up. He handed us our keys and turned around to leave. We were like SIR! Our car?? He said, I can't get you in there. It's federal building! AG! Last night we had got in. We had our car but no keys. NOW we have keys but no car!! We went through the same dance we had the night before. Beat on the door, call the cops. The security guards from the night before were gone, but the second shift stuck their heads out the door. "Hey, you two the honeymooners from last night? We heard all 'bout y'all." As Seth was talking to them I walked around the back of the building. There was an old grumpy janitor getting into his truck. I ran up to him and told him our plight. He told me without permission he couldn't get me in there. I asked if a security guard would be enough permission. He said it would but he wasn't gonna wait for me to go find one. Right then Seth and one of the guards walked around the corner. We were saved! The grumpy janitor let us in AND we had our keys. We jumped in our car and drove off waving to the nice guard. We'd already missed one flight and we were rushing to make it to the second. We made it to the airport, dropped off the car and ran to the counter. We missed our flight by five minutes. The lady was nice and didn't make us repurchase the tickets, we just had to pay an adjustment fee. So, our flight was leaving the next morning. We still hadn't eaten ANYthing since the day before. So we walked to a hotel and ordered NY pizza. Little slices of heaven. =D It was a nice relaxing evening. We made our flight the next day and our very crazy NY/DC trip was finished. It was a trip we'll never forget. I doubt the security guards will either. =D

We stayed a week at a cabin in MI to rest from our NY trip, and then we started life. It is a fun, crazy, weird but amazing life with my Seth.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Haywire Honeymoon

No one has a honeymoon story like mine. Yes, I've been married almost 3 years but the scars from those days still exist and run deep. ;-)

Thursday, May 10th, 2007 Seth and I tied the knot in Quartz Hill, California. We got married in CA because Seth graduated from college there (on May 9th) and my family who is in evangelism was in the same area of CA that week. It was a small but beautiful wedding and after the ceremony we drove about 2 hours to stay at a beach house for the weekend. It was a beautiful house. It has 4 large rooms, a fully stocked kitchen, and it was RIGHT ON the Pacific ocean. We dropped our stuff at the beach house then found a little place to eat. As we were sitting there some Mormons came in. I thought they were Jehovah's Witnesses. Seth corrected me and then proceeded to explain the difference between the two. He was telling me how the Mormon religion started. A man named JOSEPH SMITH did this, and JOSEPH SMITH believe that and JOSEPH SMITH wrote some weird book...Every time Seth said JOSPEH SMITH and would raise his voice quite a bit. I was a little embarrassed because the Mormons who had come in would look our way each time. Finally, from BEHIND us an older couple said, "Excuse us, we couldn't help but overhear your conversation..." (yeah, I wonder why, old Power Lungs over here...) They asked why we were talking about JOSEPH SMITH! Seth moved into their booth in a second and we spent an hour debating with the oldest mormons in the world, except for JOSEPH SMITH, of course.
I'd been married 4 hours...I should've seen the signs.

We spent our first night together at the lovely beach house and then on Friday we drove 2 hours to pick up some of our bridal party. Seth's friends Matt and JB and my friend Katie had all flown in for our wedding and we hadn't got to really see them. They all live in different states from Seth and I but we're all pretty close. We wanted to spend some time with them. We picked them up on Friday and we had a wonderful evening together in that beach house. We made french toast and stayed up late watching movies. The next day, Saturday, we all went out hiking. It was a blast...and I've yet to meet anyone who took 3 friends along with them on their honeymoon. Saturday night we took Katie, and Matt and JB to the airport and the left for home. Seth and I stayed Saturday night in the beach house alone....=D

Sunday we went to church and that afternoon we went and visited a Pastor's family who are dear friends of mine. Mrs. Shapiro, the pastor's wife had made my BEAUTIFUL wedding cake and helped with the wedding in general. It was good to see them that afternoon.

The next week was fun. We decided to go site seeing as we drove back to Michigan. First stop was the Grand Canyon. I can't remember what day we got there but we were able to spend one day hiking around in the Canyon. It was my second time to see it but Seth's first. No matter how many times you see it it's always breath-taking. Seth did scare the living daylights out of me. We were hiking on this ridge and he was on the edge. All of a sudden he "fell off." I screamed and ran to the edge because it was well over a 600 ft drop. He had jumped onto a TWO foot ledge that was jutting off of the ledge we were hiking on. He thought it was funny....

We left the Grand Canyon and headed up to Colorado. We took old 66 some of the way. One night we left our hotel and walked the streets of the small town we were in. There was an old 50's diner some way down the road. It was so adorable! It had neon green and pink lights and all the decor was green and pink. (pastel green and pink) It was so cute we decided we should get one of their homemade rootbeer floats. We got our float and sat outside in the warm, muggy night under the neon lights. I took a sip of the float, then Seth took a sip. He handed it back to me and I said, "Oh no, it's okay, you can have it."
Seth said "Oh, no, YOU can have it..."
We both started laughing. We had just spent 5 dollars on a root beer float that I think they made with vinegar and sour washcloths. It was awful. We poured it onto the grass and watched the grass wither away...

Stay tuned to hear how we get locked into a federal building, missed 3 flights and seth got hit on my male hookers...