Donnie (need I say more?)

Our church's camp meeting was this week. I love camp meeting. This camp meeting is where I met Seth, 8 years ago this week! This year was a little different however because I have CHILDREN. It's amazing how complicated they can make things. Donnie was in rare form to make things even more interesting. To start things off Donnie and I drove to Flint (3 hours away) on Monday to pick up Bethany, my sister in law, as a surprise for our family. They had no idea she and her little 5 month old girl, Faith, were coming! After we picked Beth up and had been on the road about an hour Faith got a little hungry so Beth climbed into the back seat to give her some snacks. I had stopped to get gas. When I got back in the car Beth told me that she had already gotten onto Donnie but she felt like I needed to know what he had done. She was standing up about to get back into the front and Donnie noticed her pretty skirt hanging there just begging for attention so he decided to JERK IT OFF!! She is in the back of my car trying to get her skirt up and personally if it had been me I would have been wanting to squash my little nephew like a bug. She's nicer than me though, so she told him why it's not nice to rip girls skirts DOWN. The next night (Tuesday) I was talking to Brother Larry Brown and his darling wife. You know that they are kind of "big shot" preacher's family and you always wanna impress the big guns. I left an impression alright. Brother Brown is a rather slight man and I'm not very tall either so I can really see his eyes, which is hard for a short gal like me. I wish I hadn't seen them... Anyway, I'm talking to the Browns and I'm wearing a knee length dress that is made of very light weight material. Before I go on, let me say that I am not a yeller. I very rarely raise my voice, it's just not something I do unless I'm super duper scared...or... Again, I'm talking to the Browns (For a short conversation it's turning into a long writing segment) and Donnie who has had about 15 lbs of candy thanks to all the people who think he's so cute so he needs chocolate, and who hadn't had a nap, and who was up about 3 hours past his normal bed-time was bouncing around like a tigger on "speed." I was trying to keep him somewhat still as I carried on this conversation and the next thing I know I feel the back of my dress hit the middle of my back. Donnie decided to flip my dress all the way up. Without thinking I screamed "DONALD LEWIS GREEN!!!!!!!" It worked! My dress was immediately dropped, however, my spittle was all over brother Browns face and blood was dripping from his busted ear drums and his eyes were as big as Texas. I really don't remember how I ended the conversation. I think I just turned around and marched Mr. Green Jr into the next room for a private "conversation." He was good the rest of the night. (And now he knows that skirts DOWN and dresses UP are BOTH no-no's) However... The NEXT night I was talking to a few friends and I turn around to look for my wild man and as I caught sight of him he was diving full force with an open mouth into my brother in law. Donnie bit him smack in the middle of his belly. Phil was just a little shocked. Donnie and I again had a private conversation... (And so now he knows that skirts DOWN, dresses UP and biting people, even crazy uncle Phil, are all no-no's) Needless to say, junk food, no sleep and lots of stimulating activity do not mix well with my 3 year old. Where was Danny all week? He learned to walk at camp meeting and in between rescuing people from Donnie I was bouncing him and trying to keep him happy. Also not easy... It was a fun, interesting week. Next year I think I'm going to send Donnie to Africa for the week and I will DEFINITELY never speak to Larry Brown again.