Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Bathroom Blews

Right now there is something controlling my life. It is a vicious little dictator. It demands I only eat certain things, I only DO certain things, only LOOK at certain things, and certainly only BREATHE certain air. If I transgress any of it's commands it punishes me with violent barfing and gagging. This mighty little dictator is only the size of a lime...my very controlling fruit inside of me, called a baby. I'm looking forward to spanking this kid...haha (JUST KIDDING!!)

So I'm trying to potty train Donnie. Just to give you a history on potty training, every dog I've ever had that wasn't potty trained I got rid of in days....so you can imagine how it's going.

Donnie, despite of his rookie mother, is doing okay with it. Last week I tried ALL week to get him to go in the toilet. FINALLY I caught him in the act and we RUSHED to the toilet. He sat there and did his business. According to all the books Mommies are supposed to do this ecstatic, hyper, poo-poo dance to let the kid know that was a totally awesome thing they just did. So, I pull him off the toilet and I committed TWO of the unpardonable sins that the little Lime has instituted into my life. I LOOKED upon the soiled water in the toilet and I inhaled the repugnant fragrance. Little Don is standing there with his hands up ready to clap for his "poo-poo" dance and instead I start hurling with a vengeance. Don has never seen me do this and I can see from the corner of my eye him standing there with his little pants around his ankles, eyes huge and round watching me lose the lunch I hadn't been allowed to eat much of. I think I set him back a few years...

I can see Donnie at 23 in in a therapy session "Doc, I just can't go to the bathroom, my mom..."

4 comments:

  1. HaHaHa! Poor you! Poor Donnie! Did he ever get his potty dance? :-D I was SO sick with my second baby, I had those same thoughts. Hopefully it will pass soon. :-) -Carol

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  2. Oh my soul I can totally picture the scene (unfortunately, lol)! I got sick over everything too. Stan had to cook all the meat, eggs, etc. I did the potty dance & shout for Tiffany and I scared her so now she doesn't want to do it again. =) Guess I was a little too excited for her. - Sharon

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  3. No words..... to describe...the.... fits.... of ....laughter...... :)Yes, I am laughing at your expense! Can't help it ;) Love you cuz!!! I will pray for the poor little man... he does sound mentally ruined now! :) I can recommend some good therapists.....

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  4. Thanks Carol! It's easing up a bit. I have good days and bad days now. THanks for the kind words. ;)

    Sharon, TEXTURE makes me sick. Isn't that WEIRD? I had to laugh about scaring her. I guess we all scar our children one way or another. LAUGH

    Marywhite, I'm so glad you enjoyed it. My favorite thing in life is to make people laugh, so thank you for letting me know you did!! And, I will probably need the names of those therapists. Grin.

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