Being a southern girl there are just somethings yankees do that I do NOT understand. When I'm in the church kitchen and it's -20 outside and the wind is howling like a 2 year old who got told "no" I think it's perfectly sane to keep all doors and windows shut tightly...VERY TIGHT. But Yankees don't see it my way. For 3 years I have watched as yankee after yankee will open that kitchen door, LEAVE IT OPEN, walk to their car, put their Bible away and come back. When I ask them WHY they always say the same thing. "I'm coming right back" What they don't seem to realize is that in the 2 minutes it took for them to tippy toe across the ice and battle the wind to their car and back, my hands AND the dish water I'm in have frozen to a solid block of ice. My toes are frostbitten and my nose is red and drippy! It makes no sense to me.
Another thing is the food. Whoever said that ONE meat, ONE potato and ONE veggie was a pot luck dinner? There are supposed to be TEN meats, FOURTEEN potato salads, EIGHT veggies (all deep fried to kill off anything that might be healthy) and then there should be TONS of pies and cakes and cookies and brownies... It just doesn't make sense.
And tea! Why would ANYone want to put HOT tea down their throat unless they had strep or a cold? You drink COFFEE hot and you drink TEA cold and sweet! Put sugar in that tea! I wanna see my spoon standing up, and feel my arteries hardening as i sip! Why can't yankees learn this stuff?
So in my three years in this foreign land I have come to blame all these endearing, frustrating traits on two words that cover all their sins. Bless their hearts they're just STUPID YANKEES.
Hang onto your shirts! I'm going somewhere with this.
So, last night I'm hanging out with a group of teen girls. We've laughed and played and had tons of fun. Then they started in on my accent. Well by george, not to be out done I started teasing them for weird yankee ways, ending it with my endearing term "stupid yankee". We all go on for about 20 minutes or so and I repeated the phrase 2-3 times. Finally one girl about 14 looks at me and says "Why do you keep calling me that? I'm not a Yankee, I live in the country!"
Poor stupid Yankees. :)
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Bahaha, I feel ya, girl! The potluck and tea thing is SOOO true. Hot tea is a sick cure, there's no pleasure in it. And how's come, down south there's always enough food at the pot luck to choke all four branches of the military, but we run out up here after the kids and teens go through line. Not to mention desserts. LOL! We southern bells are stuck in the wrong climate with some weird people...:O)
ReplyDeleteAudrey, your comment made me laugh so hard. I didn't know you were a southern girl! If we didn't love our men enough to live in this strange land...grin. I've come to love my yankee family/church but it is a lot of adjusting!
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