Bank Rub

Two years ago I worked in home health care. I took care of several elderly people and some of my duties involved driving them on errands. I had one lady who was a "favorite" of mine, I'll call her Mary. She was in the beginning stages of Alzheimer's and she could recall dates from 1910 but couldn't remember how to hold a tooth brush.

One bitterly cold January morning Mary wanted to go to the bank. The wind was blowing like nobody else's business and it was very bad white-out conditions. There was snow drifting and blowing everywhere! Now, I'm a southern girl. I am not used to snow and wind and I'm not particularly fond of all the white goo we call snow, but duty called. So, Mary and I bundled up and out the door we went. We made it to the bank in once piece (for which I was very proud of) and we decided to go through the drive through. Mary had her deposit all ready so I pulled up to the little "sucker" station. (You know, the thing that sucks up the little plastic cylinder thingy that you put your deposit slip into.) I put the car into park, rolled down my window, and grabbed the little cylinder thingy. The two seconds my little hand was out the window must've frozen my fingers because before I could get the thingy into the car I dropped it!

When I had pulled up to the bank window there wasn't a car in sight. Now I have like 50 of them behind me and now the other lane has cars in it too! I get out of the car, shut the door and look down expecting to see the cylinder thingy. It's not there. Now, because I'm from the south I REALLY bundle up. I have on tights, long johns, sweat pants, 3 skirts, 4 jackets, 2 hats...you get my drift. To top it all off, I'm several months pregnant. I can't really bend over that easy. I walk around my car hoping the stupid little cylinder thingy has rolled all the way through. It didn't. So little, round me gets down on all fours to look under my car. There it is. It's wedged between the concrete and the bottom of my car. It was wedged in such a way that if I drove forward I'd crush the dumb thing. I had to walk back around to the driver's side of car and pretending not to see the ladies in the bank gathering in the window, and the loooooong line of cars waiting, I get down on my belly in 10 inches of snow and worm my frosty-the-snowman-sized body under my car to grab the most hateful piece of plastic I've ever seen. I wrap my numb fingers around it and then try to wiggle back out. The wind is blowing my skirt up into my face and I'm about stuck under my car! All I could think was "Oh my gosh, they're gonna have to call a TOW truck to get me outta here!" Fate finally decided to let me have some shred of decency left and I managed get out from under the car.

When I got myself upright I looked up into the window of the bank drive thru and all the ladies were laughing so hard. I can't blame them...I would've laughed too, and poor Mary looked a deer in the headlights. She had no idea why I was making snow angels in the bank drive way. No one in the loooooooong line of cars looked me in the eye either. I drug my wounded ego back into my car, carefully handed the mean plastic cylinder thingy to Mary. We made her deposit and I got out of there as fast as I could.

The next week when I pulled into the bank the lady said one thing to me. "Careful, don't drop it."
Yeah, that's so nice. Just rub it in. *laugh