Dog Tales

*NOTE! All names and places have been changed for privacy reasons but this is a TRUE story

Recently a girl was BEGGING her husband for a dog. For months the husband refused her. Finally one day he gave her guidelines. It can't shed, it can't bark, it must be housebroken, it must be small, AND it must be free. (Basically he wanted a gerbil.) So, this wife set out on her quest. She looked and looked and looked and looked....and looked. One golden day she found it! There was an ad so she went to check out this dog. One small problem. The ad didn't have a picture to go with it. Another small problem. This girl is never ever able to say "no." It's not in her vocabulary.

So, off into the blue yonder the girl rides to meet her perfect 4-legged friend. She gets to the house and meets the dog. It's so ugly it looks like an alien. It weighs about 4 lbs so it is small CHECK! It has these huge buggy eyes. Well, cute wasn't on the list was it? The dog is a cross breed so for the most part it looks like a little bat dog (without wings of course) but it also had some wire hair wini dog in it. So growing off of the little bat-face is a goatee that any Pharaoh would be jealous of but not only does it have a goatee it has a weird line of hair growing down his neck. It looked like a mohawk that belonged to a chemo patient. All the other requirements were met though! It was free, it was small, it didn't shed (unless you count a single mohawk hair every once in a while shedding) it didn't bark, it was supposed to be house broken and it was FREE. (Seriously, I think they would've paid that girl to take that dog. If it was a dog. She is now convinced it was a cross between a bat and a demon.)

The girl loaded the tiny, housebroken, non-barking, non-shedding, FREE, ugly, dog into her car and drove home. She was so ashamed of her newly acquired friend she left it in the car for about 30 min before she had the nerve to tell her husband she got it. They went out to the car together...and there it sat. Staring at them with it's buggy eyes bulging. It was so ugly that the gruff, dog hating husband took pity! He kinda liked the dog. So, into the house we went. That dog wouldn't come near the girl. He didn't like her at all. He liked the husband well enough and was gracious enough to allow the husband to pick it up. The girl asked the husband to take the bat-dog outside for a walk. She warned the husband not to let the doggie off the leash. Thirty minutes later the girl went looking for her husband. Hm, that's weird. No husband. Maybe little bat-dog finally sprouted his wings and carried the husband off? The girl went and got her telescope to search the skies. (haha, jk) Soon the husband burst into the doors. He was flushed and panting. Nope, guess the dog was still on 4 legs. The husband hadn't listened to the wife. He let the dog off and within seconds the little dog from Hades slipped through the fence. Poor husband had to look for that dog for hours. He never found it.

There is a new item on the gerbil/dog list. Come when called. And no breeds mixed with bat.
*NOTE. The previous owner was notified and they were able to find the little devil dog. The doggie is safe in sound in his old home.